When did our children become public domain?

OK, I just had to weigh in on the controversial decision Elizabeth and John Edwards made regarding their children. In case you missed it, the article can be found here http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/26/us/politics/26kids.html?pagewanted=2

In an effort to stay close to their children while on the road, Mr. and Mrs. Edwards made the decision to take their children with them on the campaign trail. This means that rather than attending school with their friends, they will be schooled while on the road by their mother, and a tutor. They will spend their days viewing life through a bus window, and their nights in a Comfort Inn. Sounds like a terrible life for a child doesn't it? If you think so, you are not alone; you will find many a blogger who feels that the Edwards' decision was made simply for political gain. Many believe they are using their children as pawns; blazing a whole new trail in the political frontier; a trail that leads to poor parenting. But I do not agree; in fact, I find the mere implication that Mrs. Edwards is in any way a bad mother for making this decision deplorable at best.

In case you have not heard, Mrs. Edwards is living with stage 4 cancer. While the cancer is not curable, it is treatable, and they are doing their best to do just that. But the truth of the matter is, there is no way of knowing exactly how long she has left on this earth, and I can not fault her one bit for wanting to spend every opportunity she can with her children. In fact, none of us knows for certain how long we will have to spend with our families, so making the decision to spend as much time as possible with them should be applauded, not condemned.

As I was reading more about the Edwards family, I was saddened to learn that they lost their 16 year old son, Wade, in 1996. He was killed in an automobile accident, when a gust of wind swept his jeep off the highway. Thankfully, I have never lost a child. I pray I never have to suffer this unimaginable pain, but I'm positive that losing a child would force any parent to take a step back and examine the quality of the time they spent with their departed child. If they felt that they did not spend enough time with their child, they will probably examine the time they spend with their other children and make any changes necessary to enhance the relationships. This makes perfect sense to me. I already know that I do not spend enough quality time with my children, and I have made an effort to change that this year.

So why I ask you has the decision the Edwards' made started such a war among mommies? The answer is simple; our children are no longer our children, they are public domain. Have you ever had to slap the hands of your child while in public? Notice the disapproving looks you receive from other mommies? I suppose the better alternative would be to allow your child to pull the middle can out of the large display at the end of the aisle, and knock the entire thing down. Sure, they made a huge mess, but you didn't slap your child's hand and that is after all what is most important.

What about the emergency room. Ever had to take your child in for stitches after a simple bike accident? What about a bone break after falling out of their tree house? If you have, then you know all too well about the endless list of questions that you will be asked; and the insinuations that you abused your child. This is completely and utterly ridiculous! Now, if this is the third time in a year that your child has been seen for injuries like this, then I can see a point in looking into the matter. But if your child has never darkened the door of an ER for injuries like this, then let's save the persecution for when it is truly needed.

So when did our children become public domain? When did a decision to home school your children become up for public debate? When did any decision we make about our children become everyone else's business? Last I checked, I gave birth to my children. I feed them, clothe them, and make sure all of their needs are met. When they are sick, I don't see the public at large rushing in to take care of them, and pay for their health care. When I'm short on cash, and my daughter needs lunch money, I don't see donations piling up. But let me slap my 3-year old son's hand at the grocery store after telling him to stop pulling stuff off the shelves over and over again, and see what happens. Suddenly, every mommy within a 5 aisle radius is pulling her soap box out from the bottom of her cart to criticize me. You know what, he is mine, not yours. End of discussion.

I think that if we would be more concerned with what is going on in our own backyards, and less concerned with what our neighbors are doing, this world would be a better place. If parents felt safe enough to discipline their own children, without the fear of having SRS knock on their door because a neighbor felt they were being too harsh with their child, then maybe, just maybe, we wouldn't have the gang violence problem, drug problem, and any of the other problems that are plaguing our youth. Our kids would be happy, and healthy, because their parents would no longer be busy worrying about what other parents were doing with their children. So, they would have the time to worry about what them, and what they are doing.
I commend Elizabeth Edwards for her decision to care about the well being of her own children, and do what is best for them. Maybe if more parents would take a stand like this, the future would look a little brighter.
Just my two cents, for what's it worth.
~Dana~