When did our children become public domain?

OK, I just had to weigh in on the controversial decision Elizabeth and John Edwards made regarding their children. In case you missed it, the article can be found here http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/26/us/politics/26kids.html?pagewanted=2

In an effort to stay close to their children while on the road, Mr. and Mrs. Edwards made the decision to take their children with them on the campaign trail. This means that rather than attending school with their friends, they will be schooled while on the road by their mother, and a tutor. They will spend their days viewing life through a bus window, and their nights in a Comfort Inn. Sounds like a terrible life for a child doesn't it? If you think so, you are not alone; you will find many a blogger who feels that the Edwards' decision was made simply for political gain. Many believe they are using their children as pawns; blazing a whole new trail in the political frontier; a trail that leads to poor parenting. But I do not agree; in fact, I find the mere implication that Mrs. Edwards is in any way a bad mother for making this decision deplorable at best.

In case you have not heard, Mrs. Edwards is living with stage 4 cancer. While the cancer is not curable, it is treatable, and they are doing their best to do just that. But the truth of the matter is, there is no way of knowing exactly how long she has left on this earth, and I can not fault her one bit for wanting to spend every opportunity she can with her children. In fact, none of us knows for certain how long we will have to spend with our families, so making the decision to spend as much time as possible with them should be applauded, not condemned.

As I was reading more about the Edwards family, I was saddened to learn that they lost their 16 year old son, Wade, in 1996. He was killed in an automobile accident, when a gust of wind swept his jeep off the highway. Thankfully, I have never lost a child. I pray I never have to suffer this unimaginable pain, but I'm positive that losing a child would force any parent to take a step back and examine the quality of the time they spent with their departed child. If they felt that they did not spend enough time with their child, they will probably examine the time they spend with their other children and make any changes necessary to enhance the relationships. This makes perfect sense to me. I already know that I do not spend enough quality time with my children, and I have made an effort to change that this year.

So why I ask you has the decision the Edwards' made started such a war among mommies? The answer is simple; our children are no longer our children, they are public domain. Have you ever had to slap the hands of your child while in public? Notice the disapproving looks you receive from other mommies? I suppose the better alternative would be to allow your child to pull the middle can out of the large display at the end of the aisle, and knock the entire thing down. Sure, they made a huge mess, but you didn't slap your child's hand and that is after all what is most important.

What about the emergency room. Ever had to take your child in for stitches after a simple bike accident? What about a bone break after falling out of their tree house? If you have, then you know all too well about the endless list of questions that you will be asked; and the insinuations that you abused your child. This is completely and utterly ridiculous! Now, if this is the third time in a year that your child has been seen for injuries like this, then I can see a point in looking into the matter. But if your child has never darkened the door of an ER for injuries like this, then let's save the persecution for when it is truly needed.

So when did our children become public domain? When did a decision to home school your children become up for public debate? When did any decision we make about our children become everyone else's business? Last I checked, I gave birth to my children. I feed them, clothe them, and make sure all of their needs are met. When they are sick, I don't see the public at large rushing in to take care of them, and pay for their health care. When I'm short on cash, and my daughter needs lunch money, I don't see donations piling up. But let me slap my 3-year old son's hand at the grocery store after telling him to stop pulling stuff off the shelves over and over again, and see what happens. Suddenly, every mommy within a 5 aisle radius is pulling her soap box out from the bottom of her cart to criticize me. You know what, he is mine, not yours. End of discussion.

I think that if we would be more concerned with what is going on in our own backyards, and less concerned with what our neighbors are doing, this world would be a better place. If parents felt safe enough to discipline their own children, without the fear of having SRS knock on their door because a neighbor felt they were being too harsh with their child, then maybe, just maybe, we wouldn't have the gang violence problem, drug problem, and any of the other problems that are plaguing our youth. Our kids would be happy, and healthy, because their parents would no longer be busy worrying about what other parents were doing with their children. So, they would have the time to worry about what them, and what they are doing.
I commend Elizabeth Edwards for her decision to care about the well being of her own children, and do what is best for them. Maybe if more parents would take a stand like this, the future would look a little brighter.
Just my two cents, for what's it worth.
~Dana~

HELP!! My 3-Year Old is Turning Me Into a Zombie!!!

My son is almost 4 (will be the beginning of December) and he is literally turning me into a zombie! From the time he started walking, he has walked himself to our room, and crawled into bed with us at sometime in the middle of the night. At first it was cute, but now it is driving me mad! I purposely keep myself up until after midnight in the hopes that he will fall asleep in his own bed, and when he does, I sneak upstairs, trying not to wake him. But like clockwork, at 3am there he is.
We have a king sized bed, but when your son sleeps sideways, it doesn't really matter how big your bed is. To make matters worse, he's been going through this I want mommy to do everything phase for about the last 2 years, so he sleeps as far away from his dad as possible. That leaves me with a tiny sliver of the edge of the bed to try and sleep on. So, I spend what's left of the early morning hours hanging on to my sliver for dear life. Let me tell you, it's tough to get any sleep, knowing that you can fall off the bed at any moment.
And as if this wasn't bad enough, this morning I woke up laying in pee soaked sheets. This was very ironic since we were up until well after midnight listening to my son scream at the top of his lungs because he wanted his cup. My husband and I have stopped letting him take a cup to bed with him, as we are trying to potty train him (that's not going well either), but apparently he found a drink somewhere.
So, I am desperate here. Am I the only one out there who has gone through this? Can someone please give me some good advice on how to get him to sleep in his own bed? And while your at it, how the heck do I potty train him? You can see my previous post on this issue; he is so stubborn!!
Many many thanks in advance! :)
~Dana~

Potty Training a 3 Year Old Boy - HELP!!!!

OK, I am at my wits end with my son. He has to be the absolute most stubborn child on the planet! We have been working on potty training religiously for 4 months now, and he just refuses to "get trained". He is in pull ups, which he calls his big boy diapers. We put him in regular underwear when we are feeling particularly brave, but my couch just can't take the pee anymore! But I have to tell you that it is so infuriating to watch him do the potty dance and run around the house when he needs to go, rather than just go to the da** bathroom. If we pick him up and take him in there he starts screaming and just goes in his pull up anyway. And then looks at us with a sly smile and says "I'm wet. I need a new diaper." Well, what the heck did you think was going to happen when you peed in your pants? AARGGHH!!!!
My daughter is almost 11, and she was potty trained a month after she turned 3. It was literally a 1 day process. Are girls just easier to train than boys? It's times like this that I wish I could just take him and drop him off at a potty training class somewhere and pay someone else to do it. Maybe I just need a Potty Training for Dummies book or something. He's going to be 4 in December, so he is plenty old enough, not that he seems to care!!